The number of times I think “maybe I just broke my nose?” when Malachi headbutts me, etc. while we’re playing is MANY. but it never starts bleeding so I think that means no so we can keep going hard. Mama is the rough-houser in this fam (so fun but rip my nose bones, soon)

— will update here when I break it

I just entered my Reason For Return for a bag of dog bones, “these gave my dog the splattys” hahahaha (but it’s not funny. My dog actually has the splattys)

I have a gigantic cut on my nose from Malachi slashing a coffee pour over (metal) at my face and no one, literally no one, has asked about it. Do they think it’s acne and I’m self conscious? I want somebody to ASK ME ABOUT IT

Even though I am one, I can’tttttt stop the cringe when I hear “mommy”

I’ve always loved a good sock tan but yesterday I unlocked the next level: bandaid tan. It’s on my knee and it’s going to rain the next 6 days, so I get to keep it a while. I didn’t think my skin even tanned(!) but now I’ll do it with bandaids on. I love how I look

Ya know what really grinds my gears? When people (without asking) use my wheelchair for a footrest, to stand up with, or an armrest. it’s amazing they think it’s an okay thing to do???

I’m pretty sure I pulled a muscle while at the library today.

— the dweebiest truth I’ve ever had to tell

Malachi and I had soo much fun and now it’s night and I’m lying in bed, hurting. hahahaha

Hello! My name is Kristin and I take risks like asking people if they’re pregnant. So far so good, but stay tuned for when it’ll probably backfire

Christopher and Malachi went to my in laws for dinner and I stayed home. Me, a gal who rarely leaves the house in general because Malachi can’t get in his car seat by himself yet and I can’t do it either. But they went to dinner so I’m home ALONE and I’m FREE.

What did I do? I went to the library to get a library card and check out some books for Malachi.

I say to the librarian, quickly and without breaths in between: “hi! I just moved here and I am very excited to be out of my house because I have a son but I’m not as shut in, I just can’t put them in the car. I need a library card and a schedule for storytime because I’m gonna try to come tomorrow.”

Then she asked me when I moved to the area and hahahaha “4 years ago but it feels like recently.”  ???? I’m almost panting with that answer because I was so excited to be out alone (& at a library)

Next I’m gonna eat meatloaf and take a shower. This is my definition of a fun night, truly. how I’ve changed

it’s against the Bible and my morals to do it so I never will, but Copilot says I could make “hundreds of thousands of dollars per month” selling paralyzed feet pics. dangitttt, my moral compass

just thinking about how much harder my life would be if we didn’t have evaporation. think about it

My favorite pajama shirt says “Dnow 2006” on it. Don’t tell me my body has grown in the last 19 years, I have proof

(a good thing? a bad thing?) good because I can still wear my old wardrobe!

I live in the country, but it’s not country enough to justify my sitting on my front porch in the complete nude, letting the dog out (waiting for her to pee). I have across-the-street neighbors, yaknow what is wrong with me

When my son points to a bottle of lotion and says “mama” over and over is when I knoooow maybe my skin is a lil dry (it’s so dry)

Either my sister in law looks like a dog or the dog we just got (Nelly!) looks like a human. I’m trying to shake it because I think about her too often now

I am forever puzzled and mildly frustrated by people who say “passed away” instead of “died.” [I won’ttttt, but] I could argue this point for an hour if you’d listen

How old will Malachi be when it’s weird that his mama (me) squeezes his butt cheeks? so much. they’re so cute

Trying to teach Malachi to pull weeds in the garden with me, but all he does is grab dirt with his tiny fist and throws it at me (in my mouth, down my dress, up my nose, in my eye). We’ll get there!!!

Sandwiched between Raffi and Will Smith Willennium on Malachi's playlist, we have Cyanide by Metallica. I'm tryyyin to raise him right, I'm tryin

(he doesn’t like it yet but give it time)

When Christopher sings Malachi says “no” but I just sang and he said “BIG NO”

WOW wow wow wow