I understand most of Malachi’s interest phases ( bulldozers while a house was build across the street, airplanes when we flew to Florida, boats when we went on a cruise) but now it’s …….. lava. I dunno

If I was ever to become the president or royalty, my first act would be to hold my hands under hot water for one hour and not feel guilty (about wasting money&energy). Raw hands, warm heart, big smile

It’s really a bummer how unattractive it looks when people lick their lips. right??

I have a note in my phone titled

Things That Make Me Want To Die But Also Not Because I Love Malachi And I’m Generally Happy

I don’t want to share what’s on the list, but I did want to share the name of it because of the effort it took to capitalize the first letter of every word

(processing my life via naming my lists on my phone)

I have a bunch of new vitamins to take, so I bought them all in gummy form and — I’m being so serious — I look forward to a new day so I can take all my gummies again. I’m like a child (needs gummy), but a healthy one (takes vitamins)?? I found a hack!

I love living in the country because I can sit on my front porch [waiting for the dog to go to the bathroom] exposed-naked, and get dressed while I'm waiting. and no one sees! hopefully!!

I shaved my legs ahead of a big presentation at a country club today (wearing a dress, despite the WINTER) but I cut my legs to pieeeeces. Still wearing the dress, lookin kinda homeless. It’s ok I’m a professional!!!!!

I’m thankful for when I SKIN MY THUMB SKIN to make me grateful for when I can wash my hair without it burning. or when I PULL A muscle in my shoulder to make me grateful for when I could transfer onto toilet without a shout. or when my middle finger nail breaks TO THE QUICK to make me grateful for the. I can put pressure on my finger pad without it hurting.

just some humbling perspective for ya. I’ve skinned my thumb skin and my fingernail broke, but my shoulder is healed! don’t worry

It took me 35 years to figure this out but (100% natural, organic, fragrance & paraben-free) aloe vera is better than any face moisturizer on the market. try it

The number of times I think “maybe I just broke my nose?” when Malachi headbutts me, etc. while we’re playing is MANY. but it never starts bleeding so I think that means no so we can keep going hard. Mama is the rough-houser in this fam (so fun but rip my nose bones, soon)

— will update here when I break it

I just entered my Reason For Return for a bag of dog bones, “these gave my dog the splattys” hahahaha (but it’s not funny. My dog actually has the splattys)

I have a gigantic cut on my nose from Malachi slashing a coffee pour over (metal) at my face and no one, literally no one, has asked about it. Do they think it’s acne and I’m self conscious? I want somebody to ASK ME ABOUT IT

Even though I am one, I can’tttttt stop the cringe when I hear “mommy”

I’ve always loved a good sock tan but yesterday I unlocked the next level: bandaid tan. It’s on my knee and it’s going to rain the next 6 days, so I get to keep it a while. I didn’t think my skin even tanned(!) but now I’ll do it with bandaids on. I love how I look

Ya know what really grinds my gears? When people (without asking) use my wheelchair for a footrest, to stand up with, or an armrest. it’s amazing they think it’s an okay thing to do???

I’m pretty sure I pulled a muscle while at the library today.

— the dweebiest truth I’ve ever had to tell

Malachi and I had soo much fun and now it’s night and I’m lying in bed, hurting. hahahaha

Hello! My name is Kristin and I take risks like asking people if they’re pregnant. So far so good, but stay tuned for when it’ll probably backfire

Christopher and Malachi went to my in laws for dinner and I stayed home. Me, a gal who rarely leaves the house in general because Malachi can’t get in his car seat by himself yet and I can’t do it either. But they went to dinner so I’m home ALONE and I’m FREE.

What did I do? I went to the library to get a library card and check out some books for Malachi.

I say to the librarian, quickly and without breaths in between: “hi! I just moved here and I am very excited to be out of my house because I have a son but I’m not as shut in, I just can’t put them in the car. I need a library card and a schedule for storytime because I’m gonna try to come tomorrow.”

Then she asked me when I moved to the area and hahahaha “4 years ago but it feels like recently.”  ???? I’m almost panting with that answer because I was so excited to be out alone (& at a library)

Next I’m gonna eat meatloaf and take a shower. This is my definition of a fun night, truly. how I’ve changed

it’s against the Bible and my morals to do it so I never will, but Copilot says I could make “hundreds of thousands of dollars per month” selling paralyzed feet pics. dangitttt, my moral compass

just thinking about how much harder my life would be if we didn’t have evaporation. think about it