My favorite pajama shirt says “Dnow 2006” on it. Don’t tell me my body has grown in the last 19 years, I have proof

(a good thing? a bad thing?) good because I can still wear my old wardrobe!

I live in the country, but it’s not country enough to justify my sitting on my front porch in the complete nude, letting the dog out (waiting for her to pee). I have across-the-street neighbors, yaknow what is wrong with me

When my son points to a bottle of lotion and says “mama” over and over is when I knoooow maybe my skin is a lil dry (it’s so dry)

Either my sister in law looks like a dog or the dog we just got (Nelly!) looks like a human. I’m trying to shake it because I think about her too often now

I am forever puzzled and mildly frustrated by people who say “passed away” instead of “died.” [I won’ttttt, but] I could argue this point for an hour if you’d listen

How old will Malachi be when it’s weird that his mama (me) squeezes his butt cheeks? so much. they’re so cute

Trying to teach Malachi to pull weeds in the garden with me, but all he does is grab dirt with his tiny fist and throws it at me (in my mouth, down my dress, up my nose, in my eye). We’ll get there!!!

Sandwiched between Raffi and Will Smith Willennium on Malachi's playlist, we have Cyanide by Metallica. I'm tryyyin to raise him right, I'm tryin

(he doesn’t like it yet but give it time)

When Christopher sings Malachi says “no” but I just sang and he said “BIG NO”

WOW wow wow wow

I’ve realized that a new phase I’m going through is adding “, truly” to things I say over text. So I don’t know why THAT started

Christopher said he was going to put me in a home if I didn’t drink my water at dinner

I am convinced that drinking matcha tea will get me pregnant. Not my husband and not a healthy diet, drinking matcha. Stay tuned in 2 months when I’ll reveal

Another check in:

Malachi sleeps with 16 stuffed animals in his bed. And do we know how to say no to another? nope

Update on Malachi’s speech: he doesn’t say much, but he knows “boob”.

We were playing with a calculator so I showed him the 8008 trick, told him what it is, and he “boob boob boob boob” at least 30 more times and as I was leaving his room at naptime.

proud of me! taught him a new word!

I thought my son was giving me a humongous hug, then I realize he’s reaching behind to grab my ponytail and lacing it through his toes. no, I don’t need to shower. Why do you ask?

cooonstantly I’m justifying (to myself) why I “deserve” to eat Malachi’s food. his cookies and popcorn only, though. like I’m a big sister who steals his good stuff

It’s amazing how I can spend allll day every day, every minute of it until 9:30 bedtime, with Malachi then wake up in the morning and ache for him. I had a doctors appointment before he woke up and I wanted to wake him up before I left. just say “bye”???

cruel and unusual. This is what obsession is, I guess, but is it okay and healthy (yes)

Sometimes I kiss inanimate objects in Malachi’s life? It’s like I don’t know how to express myself, so I just kiss things: his door handle, his shower faucet, a toy, his spoon, and I just smooched some clean laundry. is this normal or a problem I have? potty train his fast or I’ll accidentally kiss a dirty diaper or something

Every month there’s at least one symptom that I say “Ok, that’s happening because I think I’m pregnant this month.” Then turns out I’m not pregnant so I have a new issue to address (or ignore, hope it goes away??) with my body. 

Last month I had a humongous appetite and this month I’m having long-lashing hot flashes. The ever-present is my terrible memory that I dearly miss being able to blame on Pregnancy Brain 

I’m putting a Key Club shirt I got when I was a freshman in high school into the Goodwill pile and I feel like I’m making a mistake. It’s live this long so how can I get rid of it now???

- the justification that leads to a closet full of the same clothes I’ve had since high school And no room to buy stuff that fits comfortably