Chris said I have “cornhole bag boobs,” so. What kind of compliments does your boyfriend give you?

baby’s first Facebook/Instagram ad. Help me I am entrepreneur

Mom just called me “one of the dumb ones”

A trick

If I think about Resees Puffs when I put roasted&unsalted almonds in my mouth, THEY TASTE LIKE RESEES PUFFS I’m not kidding

I am LOONY.

Achilles turned 6 last week, Chris and I are talking about marriage, all my wounds are healed. Happy happy

kristinbeale:

Second week of dating a guy and he took off work to book a non-refundable hotel room with me in Asheville, NC for the end of July. what am I dOoOoing.

This is one of them that I invited over to play Sorry, so that was a good plan after all (?!)

UPDATE. the trip was perfect and we still love each other. things feel way too good to be real

Chris says my clothes smell like a damp towel (MILDEW)

Chris peed in the forest and saved me the leaf he peed on, so I’m dating a prince

my shoes have dogs on them isn’t that fun (jk look at how he loves me)

Chris thought I was hurt/something wrong when he saw my sleeve but it was just wet from the snot I wiped. I am a lady

I went to my mailbox in my underwear and t shirt (UNNECESSARY RISK) because I thought i wouldn’t get caught but two Nepali women saw me. literally they stopped dead in their tracks and stared

Dating | Guest Blogger Kristin Beale - Blog

I publish all this material about how dating sucks, is hard, not worth it BUT I’m dating an angel and could not possibly be happier. (huh)

But look! GUEST BLOGGER, Superman’s blog

I told Mom I’m not wearing a bra to dinner tonight (at her house, chris is coming) and she talked for 3 minutes about “don’t give up, Kristin. Just because you’re dating someone doesn’t mean you can let yourself go.”

HAHAHA. ok fine

Chris and I are learning sign language so we can talk to each other in secret. cute, or we’ve just used it to say “weiner” and “butt” at parties. (the latter)

we went to a wedding this weekend and I only took one picture and it’s of my knees. ok. BUT CHRIS SAID HE’S IN LOVE WITH ME so do you want me to share the knee picture, or no

I like going to the hospital (JUST VISITING) because they have hand sanitizer everywhere and when no one is looking I rub it on my hands, arms, face, knees. (jk about face but arms and knees yes) Also I get to LEAVE, yaknow

I told chris I’m going to eat his ashes (and Achilles and mom) when he dies and he didn’t call me V CREEPY, so that’s where we’re at in the relationship.

what makes bby shout like that

kristinbeale:

I thought of the saying “ovaries before brovaries” one week ago and I’m still looking for a context to use it in. please set me up

found my context, perfect delivery, even said it twice in case someone didn’t hear the first time. Chris didn’t EVEN CHUCKLE (are we compatible?) (jk we are)

I sit on my front porch with no pants on without hesitation at this point. huh? either I reached a beautiful comfort&confidence, or just reckless. it’s cool tho