In a meeting with a lawyer and LIP GLOSS by LIL MAMA is stuck in my head, singing over and over. It was tough

Achilles loves the smell/potential taste of my new face lotion so she jumps in bed with me and BEELINES toward it. this makes me feel wanted and desired

last week my friend called me an “[effin’] lucky paraplegic” because I can “change pants 10 times a day if you want to.”
so that put things in cool perspective.
my able-bodied friends: don’t forget how cool it is

(another) benefit of living alone. and of not having a boyfriend:

drinking wine and sitting on my front porch alone. It sounds like I’m kidding, but I’m not!!!! also I’m trying to write poetry BUT I’M STILL SO BAD WHEN WILL I GET BETTER.
the wine helps

Things I'll never say "no" to:

a kiss on the face
a date with a boy
and a sugar cookie.

SO MANY COOKIES recently, not enough kisses on the face (or dates with boys) (but I’m soooo okay with that)

Here's my idea and tell me if it's good -

have a stamp made (so easy, relatively cheap) of my phone number and maybe a smile face or something, keep it with me all times, stamp it on the bodies of attractive men, get more dates.
I said it to Bea as a joke but I think I’m on to something. (creepy) (seems desperate) (haven’t had a date in weeks)

I applied for a job that asked if I have a disability, etc. so I had to say yes and it’s reeeeally taken away all my hope that I’ll hear back from them. I don’t know I feel sad about it tonight

the goal of dates these days:

meet a cute boy, put myself in the friend zone.
I
love
the Friend Zone.
I have a gaggle (not geese) of attractive male friends with mutual disinterest. it’s the best

I do this thing to Achilles called “Forget To Fill The Food and Water Bowl” but she still loves me so much it’s awesome

my parents keep moving into the same neighborhood as my former high school teachers and staff members. Their new house is NEXT DOOR to my FAVORITE TEACHER from high school/maybe ever. I’m excited about this

me and Achilles shared a glass of water at lunch. is that gross? am I getting too close.

on a first date

I told Achilles “I love you” and he thought I was talking to him hahahahahaha. He said “woah. that was fast”

I learn lessons

my advantage:

when I’m laying in bed and my hands are so cold (every night. why) I can bunch them up against my stomach until they’re warm. I can’t feel hot/cold down there so it’s not uncomfortable at all. suckerssssss. think about it

I don’t buy food I like for my house because I’ll eat it all and probably overindulge, but then I realize that I don’t like any of the food in my house. what do I do

sometimes I love my sister so much I feel like my HEART is going to EXPLODE

Asher saw me in my snowman sweatshirt (from the “only-wear-when-alone” wardrobe) and still kissed me on my face. This means keeper

all girls that wear snapbacks have lupus

I’m going rappelling off the side of a building in May as a “CELEBRITY REPELLER” because of my book. (I’m so excited) (VERY EXCITED)

The taste of blood from a bloody nose made me want lentil soup for dinner. Gross?

My Bumble app called me a “Queen Bee” and I feel uncomfortable about it (there can only be one) (Beyoncé)