if anyone is wondering how I pump myself up before I go out
out to the grocery store, my parents’ house for dinner, to the mailbox. anywhere, really
David Roche - inspirational humorist
DAVID ROCHE IS ENDORSING MY BOOK.
this guy is the coolest. I am very honored. this is also the guy I sent a creepy email to, so I am validated. (mini-celebs, mini-celebs)
I went on a date with a guy and he was cool but 4 times he licked/popped 3 of his fingers in his mouth really quickly. Like he was licking something off them (?) but we were eating sandwiches and they were clean
starts with a dead car battery/call to AAA, ends with 3 kisses on the cheek and a book sale. I CHARMED HIM.
sent out a super creepy email to a celebrity tonight - but this was a minor celebrity so I was able to get his personal email address. I did this many times to attractive men in college and it never turned out fantastic.
the other celebrity I contacted via Instagram message. nottachance that’s going to work. good initiative, though
Sometimes (twice today) I think about something that I contemplated including in my book, but can’t remember if I did or not. So I go to my final manuscript and search for it and every time so far it has been included. I’m about to have no more secrets and/or private inner dialogue aaaand it’s terrifying, actually
I am freaking
scared
to stand up for myself
and can only do it via text message [because as soon as I see a face I’ll start smiling and loving and forgiving] but I LOVE IPHONE because I can send a confrontation text message with fireworks in the background! Or balloons! to soften my blow and end in love. sneaky
watching American Horror Story means I will never, ever open my door to someone I don’t know again.
Another benefit: I won’t have to buy cookie dough, candles, cookies, popcorn, and almost a security system from neighborhood kids anymore
Lessons from last night
when I drink enough alcohol all I do is love everything/one and proclaim it. It’s beautiful unless there’s an attractive man/potential mate around me, then it becomes too much and I will probably scare off all the boys like this
on my phone I have a video of an attractive man winking at me and I won’t say how many times I’ve watched it but it might be 400
Sometimes if I’m in an emotional mood and I listen to the Lemonade album I can cry because I feel so sad for Beyonce. seriously what am I
I went on a date and it went well and we had fun then he kissed me on the cheek at the end. so I am in Colonial Williamsburg
I ordered more business cards and I tried to make them look more professional I TRIED. so I found Achilles’ most serious-looking picture to put on the front. take me seriously? buy my book.