I’ve started to tell Achilles that I birthed her in order to feel closer

Peanuts, I could eat all day. Walnuts, not so much

I met a guy yesterday who is fairly attractive but also whatever so I tried to scare him away by saying I want to MARRY HIM and have his babies. but hahahahahaha he just laughed. good thing or a bad thing?

Achilles is trying so hard to sleep but I keep kissing her shoulder blade I don’t know why

I’ve started a new thing where I don’t respond to people who flake on me via text message because 1. STOP FLAKING ON PLANS VIA TEXT and 2. it doesn’t allow me to be mega nice to people who are mean and making me a doormat. So far I’ve only had to do it once and it was real hard. But also kind of exciting

I’ve been to 3 Christmas parties so far this year and for all of them I’ve tried to bring someone with me but it has never worked out so I end up going alone. But all 3 parties I’ve had the BEST most fun time and I’m so happy I went by myself. Lesson learned? : be alone

Achilles Jones > Jones > Joan.
Achilles responds to the name “Joan” now

contrary to belief, I’ve been living in my house for over a year and I still drive into the garage wall sometimes

I matched on Bumble with a very attractive man named Elliott but I can’t take him seriously because he has the same name as my childhood stuffed animal: Elliott the Elephant

There’s still sand in my wheel from when we went to Florida for Thanksgiving (THAT IS NOT GROSS) so I wonder how long that’ll be there

there is no “I” in “flock of geese”

I get this rush in my body when I plan parties THAT I IMAGINE is what it feels like to take drugs. (I know nothing about it but I’m guessing) (I am a baby) (but I know a lot of facts about drugs and it sounds similar) (I can’t stop bouncing in my wheelchair)

I DESIGNED AND SUBMITTED THE FRONT COVER OF MY BOOK

I want to show everyone but I think I will show no one. for suspense and stuff

(nostalgic for the womb)

what I learned from my day of not eating solid food until 5:30pm: I can do it. I HAD FUN