I’ve been to 3 Christmas parties so far this year and for all of them I’ve tried to bring someone with me but it has never worked out so I end up going alone. But all 3 parties I’ve had the BEST most fun time and I’m so happy I went by myself. Lesson learned? : be alone

Achilles Jones > Jones > Joan.
Achilles responds to the name “Joan” now

contrary to belief, I’ve been living in my house for over a year and I still drive into the garage wall sometimes

I matched on Bumble with a very attractive man named Elliott but I can’t take him seriously because he has the same name as my childhood stuffed animal: Elliott the Elephant

Christmas picture stop 4 of 4. Achilles is despondent

Everyone else brought their human babies for the picture

There’s still sand in my wheel from when we went to Florida for Thanksgiving (THAT IS NOT GROSS) so I wonder how long that’ll be there

there is no “I” in “flock of geese”

I’m the kind of creepy neighbor who makes customized magnets and sticks them on mailboxes (a picture of Achilles & Elyse)

I get this rush in my body when I plan parties THAT I IMAGINE is what it feels like to take drugs. (I know nothing about it but I’m guessing) (I am a baby) (but I know a lot of facts about drugs and it sounds similar) (I can’t stop bouncing in my wheelchair)

I DESIGNED AND SUBMITTED THE FRONT COVER OF MY BOOK

I want to show everyone but I think I will show no one. for suspense and stuff

(nostalgic for the womb)

what I learned from my day of not eating solid food until 5:30pm: I can do it. I HAD FUN

Am I exciting or creepy? I made Buddy a picture book to ask him to go to a party with me tomorrow night. toooooooo much time on my hands

I find the most things to do in my car in the parking lot of my gym before going inside than anywhere else. I can seriously sit here for an hour doing “important” tasks on my phone, also procrastinating workout.
Like making this Tumblr post. It was very important and took 2 minutes to make. Very rewarding

I was about to use the word “cahoots” in a text message to Godwin but I caught myself just in time. Wow close call

My “On This Day” entry from Facebook is a status I made in 2011 that says 

“obliques are the center of the universe”

hahahahahahahahahahaha

I have a FitBit tan on my left wrist now. date me

He guided my left hand to rest on his butt during this picture. It was creepy? But also okay

I made a candle with Achilles’ face in it because she is my queen