in the name of football I went straight from my shower to my windowed tv room before putting anything on to watch the end of the Ravens game and I think my neighbor might have seen me hahahahahaha the Ravens even lost

if you give a mouse a handcycle

Achilles got a haircut and now she looks like a rock

this birthday card from Jessica I’ll probably save it forever

“The smoothie flavors are to die for. You have to try them you’ll love them.”

talking to my urologist about Tums the antacid

to die for she says

Douglas wrote me a song for my birthday and it was the best/sweetest present. Also he let me video record him singing/playing Halo by Beyoncé BUT I’M NOT ALLOWED TO SHOW ANYONE. Trust me he’s cute

there’s something about Douglas doing the Dougie

Dad has Blink 182 in his head so he’s playing it at MAX VOLUME in the house. Mom is spinning in circles with her hands over her ears and Achilles is running full speed I never want to move out

Achilles Jean Jones

I really just can’t get enough

I got drunk and spilled margarita on Achilles head so she’s mad at me. Also I talked to a girl about 4th grade for 10 minutes until she she told Achilles she was bored and left

I went into acac while I was waiting for Douglas and only had 15 minutes so I asked for a tour of their “child care area only.” So I pretended like I have a 2 year old son and HAHA she believed me because I guess I’m old enough for that now? oh weird

HAPPY 9 YEAR ANNIVERSARY, KRISTIN BEALE

If you don’t wake up at 6am I suggest do it. it’s beautiful outside

Leelee just called me Clinton by accident

I used my best math joke (PEMDAS) on Arthur and he didn’t even understand it what a waste

apparently you can’t put aluminum foil in the microwave oops

also i lost my phone/have a boyfriend. it was a cool weekend

I have a penny-sized bruise on my left inner/upper thigh that I’ve been watching for the past 7 days. I don’t know how it got there but it’s REALLY PURPLE and I’m watching it get darker. why is this happening to me 

kristinbeale:

sometimes I feel overwhelmingly happy and I just wish something would explode on my body so I can feel release but everyone around me would be splashed with the happiness that shoots out and they’ll feel the same happiness as me. is that gross? I want it to happen

I told Mom and she said I’m gross and shouldn’t say that to anyone except her. isn’t she cute