when someone comes in the bathroom at work and in the stall they I guess feel uncomfortable about the noise their pee makes? So I make a beat with my fingers on the toilet seat so everyone relaxes. BUT TODAY I GOT CARRIED AWAY. it felt weird
it seems like Achilles is always in the background humping something. she’s so horny I don’t understand
I just finished eating ground beef stir fry for lunch today and I’m wondering if I have a beef-colored mouth now. I don’t have a mirror
I’m wearing my retainer tonight. I cannot explain to you the pain I feel in my mouth right now
I remember the one time I ever said the f word was in 8th grade and it was an accident when I was trying to song an Eminem song to Claire. It was an accident but for some reason I’ll never forget
it’s slow at work today so I just ordered 48 blue pens from eBay to be delivered to my office next week. I am SoOoOo excited
I told someone today that I can feel cold temperature in my legs. That was the first time I’ve ever told anyone that but I think it’s true? see my monotoned surprise. I can feel cold temperature, everyone
I know it’s not fair to hold something against someone that he/she did in your dream but I don’t care. I never want to see Lee again
Achilles’ first moments with her peanut butter bone. Turn your sound up it’s so great. I watched this video 12 times.
Jones Moments Volume 1
on the wall of the plastic surgeons office there’s a brochure for “BREAST RECONSTRUCTION” so I asked what that meant and she said breast cancer patients, etc. I had a great idea though what of someone wanted to reconstruct their breast into a cube shape? She was nice by pity laughing at me. BUT WHAT IF
This morning I’m excited to go to work and REMEMBER things. 9 years and my short term memory loss is finally gone. It’s gone
on the way home from the river
Achilles rides in my lap and she made me beep my horn 3 obnoxious times at the car in traffic in front of me. The guy stared at me through his side door window FOR AT LEAST 2 minutes while we sat there. He waved and smiled at me so big and I assume that means he wants to get my number and be my long-term boyfriend so I memorized his license plate number duh (YAP-3246) and tried to drive next to him so he’ll smile at me again. AND HE DID so now we’re dating and I will soon be engaged
Mom and I have the same black underwear and I’m pretty sure I wear hers all the time.
just a heads up for all the boys that we’re thinking about asking me on a date