pumping gas in Glen Allen
a nice old man said he “would be honored” to pump my gas for me. we talked while we waited for my tank to fill but I didn’t get a hug this time. IT’S AMAZING now nice strangers are. also I love getting gas now
“Kristin now that you have a full time job you have to stop telling dirty jokes.”
“Kristin now that you have a full time job you have to start shaving your legs.”
“Kristin now that you have a full time job you have to brush your hair.”
three people from the YMCA told me these. MY JOKES AREN’T THAT DIRTY AND MY HAIR DOESN’T LOOK THAT MESSY. gosh
I found a crumb of raw kale on my body as I was transferring OUT of the shower. I think this means I am obsessed
I told someone I was “going to the park with Joe” HAHA and he thought I was hanging out with a real human man.
Achilles Jones —> Jones —> Joseph —> Joe Jonas —> Joe. I’m sneaky
in the song Wonderwall (by Oasis. everyone knew that) I changed the word “wonderwall” to “booty call” and sang it to Achilles and now it’s stuck in my head. help
when I gave Achilles her flea and tic medicine she turned into a Melancholy Jones and has been laying on a sweatshirt in my closet ever since
someone told me that I “scare” him because I’m “so bold in my statements.”
I don’t think I’m supposed to scare the boys in the yard. am I doing this right
I just paid a $99.98 ticket for not stopping fully at a stop sign. Everyone learn my lesson
every time I’m not in a good mood Jake knows how to make me so happy.
he is the best. emojis are the best.
I rush home from work at 5:00 every day only so I can get home and take off my pants. by the time I’m in my driveway I’ve already pulled my pants down to my knees, taken off my bra, stored it in my backpack, look like a teenage boy. is that tmi. I miss wearing sweatpants and a t shirt every day to work (the YMCA). full time jobs, man
I’ve been eating lunch in this small kitchen at work for 40 minutes and there’s another lady in here AND WE HAVEN’T SPOKEN ONE WORD. her head is so close to the table
