those judgmental eyes

Mom said the license plate “DISNY FN” means “Disney fartin”

Mom said that we are not besties with testes

Megan -> Meggie -> Eggie -> Egg.
I have a friend named Egg

Mom put egg in the outside plants and now Achilles smells like egg

All of the sudden Achilles likes to wiggle under my comforter and worm around

“So don’t be afraid, little flock. It gives your Father great happiness to give you the Kingdom.”

Luke 12:32

this verse is telling us not to worry about things and to trust God so that he can relieve us of the bad things and share his Kingdom and his presents with us.

but

He called us a “little flock.” That made me laugh because I am not a bird

today was such a good day

because I took the biggest risk. I told God that I can’t fix a problem by myself and finally just trusted him to get me to the end of 3 weeks of such unhappiness.

THEN I TOOK THE BIGGEST RISK.

and everything worked out so well. I am humbled and happy. lessons learned

I was trying to get a picture of Achilles’ middle part but she jumped in the air and I can’t stop laughing

I applied to a job 32 minutes ago and got a rejection email 27 minutes ago. 

YO TEAVANA. chill. it’s Saturday. go home and spend time with your family.

my urologist is talking about my vagina using a baby voice

every time I say anything to this YMCA staff member he makes a sound to turn my words into an innuendo.
we just had a conversation about granola bars but he kept making wanky sounds after things I said and it feel like things got sexual

I wish there was a place that I could drive thru and buy toothpaste

carrying the world on her shoulders 

playing hide and go seek with Joe

I finally learned to have self respect

You can be a softer, smoother, more beautiful little armpit

I just filed six work orders on my wheelchair

seriously

it’s time for an upgrade. (1 more year)

the word “terrific” bothers me today

Achilles and I talked about it and she is a Republican