SOMEONE LEFT THIS ON MY WINDSHIELD AT HOME AND I DON’T KNOW WHO IT WAS. I’m so excited I loove Target. But I also love that I don’t know who left it this is so fun

Dad created the adjective “slack-turd” and is saying it to everyone

I’m sitting in my car and can’t see out of any of the windows because ice. THIS WOULD BE A GREAT TIME to kiss a boy, right???
I kissed Achilles on her lips before I left this morning.

when Achilles yawns I like to mock her by opening my mouth.
but
when she sees me doing it she gets self-conscious and snaps her mouth shut and looks at me with her side eyes

$127 later

I’M IN. so excited

This Man Is Hilariously Live-Tweeting His Flight-and-Feud With The Woman in Seat 7A

before I got Achilles and was still going to name her “Small Body” (still the best name), I got a new computer and registered it as “Smart Body.” Dad just told me he saw a computer on his network named Smart Body and “knew it had to be” me. HAHAHAHA

every cowboy sings a sad, sad song

Kris pressured me into a vine account BUT IT’S BORING so I deleted the app. This was my first/only vine I made and look at how camera savvy I am

the rain gave Achilles a middle part

overthinking this

I stopped using periods at the end of my test messages and THIS ARTICLE does so well explaining what  I’ve tried to explain so many times. check it out

for the scholarlies out there:

http://www.newrepublic.com/article/115726/period-our-simplest-punctuation-mark-has-become-sign-anger

Achilles is running in her sleep and I don’t know what to do

Achilles did a hump-sleep again

YES i had a bad weekend okay

I watched this in full screen on my computer for so many hours. I think I need to see them in real life now.

http://www.timesdispatch.com/cheetah-cam/

I don’t understand why people don’t want to be my friend

I have been peer pressured into putting periods at the end of my text messages.

my tattoo is starting to fade just like the guy said it would but i didn’t believe.

remember this picture, remember it at its best.

I'm thankful for Angels and Airwaves

when I’m sharing pistachio nuts with Achilles I only give her the ones that are hard to crack because it makes me feel like a better mother to work for her food

 

 

 

i have too much time on my hands. this post took 20 minutes to make

at first my soap smelled like my grandma’s house and I loved it

then it started smelling like my grandma’s poo. but it’s just soap so I didn’t think it was a big deal.

so I kept taking a lot of showers because my body smelled like body odor of dying man. I kept smelling like that for some reason so I just took more showers.

finally I finished the bottle (clap clap) and the smell stopped. COMMON DENOMINATOR. my soap was making me smell like sick-person-poo. i moved on to coconut smelling soap and now I’m fun to be around again