I transferred to a shower bench with a raisin stick to my pants, it soaked up water and became soft, then I saw it when getting back in my wheelchair. How am I NOT supposed to think it’s poop???
** it’s definitely a raisin
Malachi has a beanie baby of Winnie the Pooh, but I called him Winnie, then Pooh, then Poo Poo. Now he just sleeps with poo poo it’s great
Malachi‘s new skill to show off: I ask “Malachi, where’s your butt crack?” and he credit cards himself
I sliced the tip of my thumb in HALF with a sharp knife while doing the most simple bread cut, but I’m keeping it a seeecret. because I won’t be trusted with sharp knives anymore.
These are mind games of my marriage
(all justified)
Sometimes Malachi squeezes it because he doesn’t know better and I just smile through it!!!! I love him so much!!!!
I'm not understanding why women want the thigh gap. I have one and it's OBNOXIOUS - when I carry anything in my lap, it falls between my legs and I have to dig for it (cute). I just put a handful of cashews on my thigh. you can imagine how that went
Updated indication of wealth: do you use Draino (only 3 uses per jug!!) or a mania drain snake to unclog the shower and sink drains? we have Draino in the closet but I can’t bring myself to use it when I have the plastic piece. So what does that say about me? Mentally single-income-minded, and realistically has ~$10 to buy convenience of Draino.
Is this making sense or am I losing my mind
A very clear sign I need to update my wardrobe:
I saw a Facebook memory picture from 13 years ago and I’m wearing the same shirt, same pants.
But it still fits! Can’t justify throwing it away!!
I wrote out this confession and then I thought, “Why confess? No one is making you confess.” but then I answered “the people need to know.”
Christopher cooks dinner and I clean up, but I love it because if he doesn’t finish something on his plate, I can eat it up. I am a traaaash woman
Welcome winter, welcome back the greatest cold-weather-hack of paralysis: lying my cold little hands on my warm-skin lower body (in bed) and not feeling the cold part, just the warm. hehehe
(I also work as a literary scout and) I took a work call today. Started out by introducing myself, talking about her book, and being published, and ended with my saying “I love you.” I escalate fast, KEEP UP
she says she loves me too, it’s cool
when I transfer out of my wheelchair, it is (not sarcastically) always fun to see what kinds of food, drink, lotions, toy pieces, etc. make it onto my seat and under my butt. Tonight I found chip crumbs and Lego pieces. we didn’t play with Legos today? but LORD ALMIGHTY DID WE EAT SOME CHIPS
with how often Malachi whacks me in the face with his toys and body (play!!), I’m surprised he only just gave me the first black eye. The night before a Christmas party 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 I can’t believe how much I love that boy
There’s [I Need To Do] Laundry Day, and there’s [I Still Haven’t Put Away My] Laundry Day. Today was the latter and I wore PURPLE PANTS. why do I even own purple pants
went to sleep so late that my chapstick (“lip mask”) hadn’t fully absorbed when I woke up. What am I doinggggg so late at night? I dunno, bad tv?
I understand most of Malachi’s interest phases ( bulldozers while a house was build across the street, airplanes when we flew to Florida, boats when we went on a cruise) but now it’s …….. lava. I dunno
If I was ever to become the president or royalty, my first act would be to hold my hands under hot water for one hour and not feel guilty (about wasting money&energy). Raw hands, warm heart, big smile