(I’m not pregnant, but) the amount of time I spend looking at baby names is wild. After today I have a list of 25 girls and 22 boys. ARE WE EVEN GOING TO HAVE ANOTHER, I DUNNO. DO I NEED TO GET A HOBBY, MAYBE.
Today I remembered when I was in high school I got some hand soap for my (personal) bathroom (in my room that nobody ever used) that I really liked (it had beads) and wanted to make last a long time. So I taped a note on it that said "Only pump this soap on your hands once and no more. Thank you." Then I thought it was funny to sign it "- Staff"
so
dumb
but it worked! nobody pumped my soap on their hands
(because nobody used that bathroom except me)
I told somebody that Malachi is my physical therapist and I think that’s just about the cutest (& so truest) answer to give. Mama is HITTIN her zone minutes every DAY, chil’
When I go into Malachi’s room in the morning and he’s sleeping soundly, I still have a tiiiny inkling of fear that he’s not breathing and is dead. So I wonder when that’ll go away
special shoutout to being a girl and making girl friends because I can tell them I love them within 4 hours of meeting them and it’s not taken wrong, weird at all, or moving too fast. Just friendly love! that I fall into sometimes instantly but I’m FREE TO
When I catch myself EATING food that FELL OUT of Malachi’s MOUTH I say wow. Look how I’ve changed
I sprinkled rice on my pasta because I thought it was cheese, Christopher saw it and right away knew it was rice. “Why did you put rice on your pasta, Kristin.”
so then I had to play it off. It’s a new recipe I’m trying. And it’s good, I said afterwards. ?!
I just had a massage and after he left the room I straight up leaned over and BLEW MY NOSE on the sheet. you caaan’t take me anywhere
it's fun to see that my ex boyfriend has a birthday today that I didn't remember about - a day that used to be so significant to me just means NOTHING now. even my ex's MOM'S birthday was a big deal but who flippin' knows when that is? Memories scrubbed. sorry, Jake
Sometimes I come into my bathroom after a full day of being around Christopher, I look in the mirror, and I just have to LAUGH [at how ugly I presented]. Being married is the best because I don’t have to caAaAare
I remember my dreams 1 out of 500 times but WHEN I DO, LEMME TELL YA: my husband divorces me (then I woke up to him not asleep next to me because he slept in the other room because hehe my nose is stuffy so I snore. Then I fell back asleep and) then my best friend from college died. no thanks, the Devil. I’ll take the dreamless nights, pls
In my old (34) age, these are my favorite times of my life:
• running the dishwasher
• a dirty kitchen (for me to clean)
• laundry
• watching the news
• and water picking my teeth
is that good or am I a loon
I just threw out a t shirt I’ve worn since the 10th grade (“oops, put my arm through a hole instead of the arm hole, again”) and my favorite pajama shirt is from a 2004 church retreat. I say this only to make the point that my wardrobe needs updating
“We have money now, Kristin. Buy yourself a shirt without holes in it” said Christopher. hahahaha
I realize I haven’t posted here in a while but my only exciting update is that I have a blood blister on my ankle
Malachi learned how to pick his nose tonight, so of course Christopher taught him how to flick it. And all the sudden he’s a fast learner?
Christopher bought me a card in 2019 and has given it to me every year since.
Something like: he gives me the card, I think I’ve never seen it before, “thanks, Chris!”, he steals it back, puts it in the drawer, gives the same to me the next year.
“Benefits of marrying someone with memory issues,” he says. HAHA not wrong
The only* bad thing about not being a lesbian is whenever there’s a long hair in our house (in the food, in the drain, in the chip bag???), it’s definitely my fault. I have no one to blame and everyone knows