Dark chocolate morsels everywhere:
on my seat cover (looked like poo but WASN’T); inside the back of my bra near the clasp (?) (found it when I was in bed, I smeared in on my sheets, I had to change them); and in the fork drawer (the only one that kind of almost makes sense).
this reminds me of when the same thing happened during my dried-kale-eating-obsession: there was a piece of kale stuck to my thigh as I was getting out of the shower. how does that even happen?
I used to leave my pee in the toilet so I could (brag) show Christopher how clear it is, but he makes me flush it down now. ugh
I knew I’d crossed the line into MOM when I told my friend that his a girlfriend “looks delightful.” ???
the difference of before and after Malachi:
before — I squirm and wash my hands if anything gets on them at all. anything
after — today I actually hoped he would mistake my knuckle for a pacifier. then when he did I was just grinnin’
Still, 4 months later, I sometimes forget that Malachi is real and MINE and sleeping in the other room. So I get to remember and be so excited again. This happens first thing in the morning or after he takes a [annoyingly] long nap. It’s the best, it’s the same thing I felt when I used to go through a breakup (I forget that I’m single again, I have to remember, I’m sad), except OPPOSITE.
One of the biggest adjustments since having Malachi and since he’s been sleeping through the night is not getting to work out at any time of the day like I used to. having to plan ahead**. I guess that’s what everyone has to do, though? am I so spoiled because I haven’t had an out-of-home job in 5 years? (yes)
I found the saddest feeling: when my body hurts like it does after a very hard workout, but all I’ve done is warp my body around holding Malachi all day. it’s a little less sad when you see how BEAUTIFUL he is, but still
I’ve had songs from the Mulan soundtrack in my head since I woke up this morning at 3am. I went back to sleep, but immediately started Bringing Honor To Us All. it’s a good movie but help
I haven’t been a cheerleader for 19 years but please belieEeve I still wear the underwear (“lollies”) from my old uniform. They’re slick! and they’re kinda tight. but it’s ok
To have my massage therapist say, “Do you have anything to do after this? We’re going over time” is my greatest accomplishment of 2023
(a massage! happy 18th accident anniversary, Kristin)
I play the same Cut-My-Hair-And-When-Someone-Asks-How-Much-I’m-Cutting-I-Say-I’m-“Going-Short-This-Time”-Then-Send-Them-A-Picture-Of-A-Woman-With-A-Bob-Haircut-And-Say-It’s-A-Selfie trick on someone I love literally every time I cut my hair (only every ~9 months, but still) and it’s NOT funny. They don’t even fake laughs very hard but I still do it every time for some reason
I’m 32 years old and I just discovered how good it feels to put lotion all over my face (it’s so good, I recommend)
update (& oh how the tables turn):
I used to cut Achilles’ hair with my (kitchen) scissors, and now I’m using her (grooming) scissors to cut my own.
I didn’t cut too much and I still look like a girl, so we’re good
I always get scared of myself when I’m about to cut my own hair because WITHOUT FAIL I get into a “oh, it’ll grow back” mind and cut waay too much. I’m about to cut it, stay tuned
sometimes right before I get comfy, Malachi pees, spits up, or liquid poops on me. sometimes all in one day (today!!)! Having a boy is a [not sarcastic] BLAST. it’s so fun
I fiiinally got to ride my handcycle for an hour today and I just had nursery rhymes in my head the whole time. Literally singing the mockingbird song the whole time I rode.
am I a mom or WHAT. help
I discovered how to schedule emails to be sent in future, so I’m taking CARE of things. Checking in on someone after her surgery (in the future), asking people to review Wide Awake after it comes out (on 08/15), and following up after a conversation (I’m having next week). I guess people have known about this feature for years?
I tell Christopher Malachi’s looks like “a good mix of us” but he is a MAMAS BOY. amiright? I wiiiiin
