I’m trying to do my work but Chris is farting the Star Spangled Banner (with his mouth. don’t worry about us)

Chris taught me how to make QUALITY fart noises so now we do that instead of kiss

ANNOUNCING

kristinbeale:

Date Me (my book) is being made into a tv show! We’re filming in July, and we’re fully casted (me, a fencing rival, my dad, best friend Katie, and 2 men to date) for the pilot episode. I’ll post a video about it on Monday! this is going to be reeeeeally cool

I forgot to post it on Monday, but it’s Saturday so here it is:

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/date-me-pilot-filming?fbclid=IwAR1clmbtdX7Xj1rVIiuvQdXwCfzlIEcYYiMV_Jkqh3We5UWpImtekOJWiBA#/

toss a couple bucks! it’s for a GOOD CAUSE: my fame and fortune.

jk - none of my projects make fortune. but one day, maybe?

I just get so EXCITED when I buy 2 new dresses to add to my closet of 200 dresses. we all understand

Chris nicknamed me Baby Biden I cant remember why. But it stuck?

we met with our wedding DJ today —

I told him my favorite artists are Beyoncé and Sinatra, so let’s see what happens here

Achilles was scared of the storm so she farted on Chris’ lap

Now that I’ve flossed regularly for years, the first thing I look at when I talk to people is IN BETWEEN THEIR TEETH. I went to lunch with a guy today and I just wanted to floss ‘em. so gross

All vendors booked, all bridesmaids confirmed, and our flower girls said YES. 9 more months until I marry this guy.

Someone just told me he “cannot imagine a life without your comics,” so that’s why everyone should sign up (www.kristinbeale.com) or follow me (IG @greater.things.comics) 🙃

Now that I have Boob Tape (bra-replacement bought for my wedding dress. ouch? TBD), I can wear any dress I want without straps. I’m very excited the world is my cucumber

last night and today are the first times since November [when Chris moved in] that I’ve had the house to myself so I’m TRYING to LIVE IT UP and do something WILD but all I did last night was watch Netflix in my bed until 12am, and all I’ve done so far today is listen to a podcast on full volume. I’ve forgotten how to be fun, I think

The parking lot attendants at the hospital called me “lil mama” this morning. I made it.

Chris is out of the house this morning so I’m eating OREOS for BREAKFAST while I watch church online. It’s like I’m a child, but a good child who still goes to church when no one is around. just while eating Oreos

Mom said my brain is like an ice cream sandwich because it’s going to melt

(a comic from my book Date Me)

I think about this one often these days because it’s how I’ve felt a lot lately. I tried to explain it to Chris last night and I sounded like a LOONY (hahaha)

I fell asleep on the couch next to Chris and when he woke me up I jumped and screamed and shouted “ARE MY EYES OPEN OR CLOSED?” I don’t know why.

we just booked a trip to NORWAY.

my life is craaaazy good. little babies, big spending

also, zoom in on my face. HAHAHA perfect

Things that feel too good to be real right now:

• I’m marrying Chris
• We’re planning a WEDDING (we’re just KIDS. I don’t feel old enough for this) (I’m not a kid. Almost 30)
• We’re going to NORWAY for our honeymoon. My dreeeeam
• We opened a joint credit card and savings account last night. But I was still sad about having to take so many people off the guest list that I didn’t get fully excited but it’s cool now when I’m thinking about it now