I’ve been dating Chris for 12 months, living with Chris for 8 months, quarantined for 3 months, and I’m still living under the umbrella of “I am a lady and ladies don’t poop.” It’s impressive, really. I think I’ve tricked him?
but now we’re getting married so let’s see how long keep this going. Taking bets
Chris is moving into my house this weekend(!) and we have to rearrange the guest room to accommodate something called “THE FART COUCH.”
I liiiterally haven’t been attracted to another man since I fell in love with Chris but then I saw Joseph Gordon-Levitt and it makes me so uncomfortable that I am. I had to unfollow him on Instagram.
link dump, articles-written-by-me dump
Mistakes Were Made click here
“Help!” click here
Owning It click here
Death of the Apology click here
Alone, Together click here
Dating During COVID click here
that’s a lot, but they’re so fun. cheeeeeeck it out
I’ve been dating Chris for 12 months, living with Chris for 8 months, quarantined for 3 months, and I’m still living under the umbrella of “I am a lady and ladies don’t poop.” It’s impressive, really. I think I’ve tricked him?
The new poop chip: OREOS, and I’m ob sess ed.
Last week I emailed Nabisco and told them I will be an influencer, unpaid, “because I love the cookie that much.” I sent it to 3 addresses and haven’t heard back, so I’m a loony. I’m about to Amazon Prime them to myself because I can’t wait 2 days for our Friday grocery trip. what is wrong with me
The toilet clogged after I only peed and flushed, so I told chris and he was confused, trying to figure out why. Right before I peed, I flushed a Q Tip like he always tells me not to do so I’m pretty sure that’s why it clogged, but i can’t never admit it to him. I’m guilty but I don’t feel ANY GUILT.
I recorded this video 77 times and every time I messed up I made a FART NOISE by accident. 76 farting outtakes. enjoy it
Easter 2020, in my kitchen. CHURCH in my kitchen, PANCAKES in my kitchen, THE DAY in my kitchen. It was weird but we were together so it’s cool
update on the Cheddar Jalapeno chips:
I want to eat them all the time but Chris is working from my kitchen and I don’t want him to see me eating chips all the time. so I snuck them into my bathroom so he wouldn’t hear the crinkles of the bag, but he walked in with Achilles and saw them on the counter. now he think I was eating them on the toilet and calls them my Poop Chips, and I have a bigger problem than when I started.
I just ordered 7 boxes of A Million Suns(!!). Stay tuned for my desperate attempts to market the book via quarantine.