Bobby says I’m losing my hair because I’m malnourished. (I think he’s right) no more routine meal-replacing tea or tangerine. Learn my lesson
I thought I was being very sneaky for the past year with diagonally-slanted blinds in my windows that let me see outside, people not see inside but I left my light on at night and drove past my house and I could see everything.
Everything.
It looks like I don’t even have blinds on the windows. What do my neighbors know about me
I’m lying in bed next to the silhouette of Achilles humping my sham pillow at 12am. I am raising a teenage boy
I didn’t realize how much I care about correct who/whom usage until a man used it correctly and I fell in love with him
I don’t have a Christmas tree decorated yet, haven’t put up any decorations, but I listened to Christmas music while I made apple pie moonshine today. That counts, rightttttt
Today at church I introduced myself as “Kristin Beale” (hold out my hand for handshake) “I follow your girlfriend on Instagram.”
and I’m having a HARD TIME with this because all day I’m lamenting on how laaaaame and Millenial I must have sounded
surest sign that I’m talking to a quality man:
2 month and STILL NO dick pics. it is a relief
my newest first date ice breaker:
my favorite band is Owl City. (hahahahaha) (it’s not, but great test)
Mom told me to shave my armpits because “what if you meet an attractive boy.”
(we’re on vacation) (armpit hair is the best part of vacation)
I have 2 beds in this (GREAT) hotel room. Uses: Left bed for nights with a day shower, right bed for nights with a shower before bed. Or should I do odd/even days? This is fun in Florida
the bank doesn’t verify my information with transfers/withdrawals anymore because we made friends (the teller bought my book) and I guess they trust me enough now. this is a win
Having a handicap placard in Florida:
literally useless. Everybody in this state is handicap. 🙂
seeing piece of my hair hanging from Achilles’ mouth
I leave it there because I want her to swallow it to connect us. We are not blood brothers yet but this is close
The only bad thing about an attractive man who FaceTimes me (only*) is I have to remain reasonably attractive in my house while alone. gone are the days
I flirted so hard with my GoDaddy support technician that he signed up for my email mailing list for my new book.
- he sounded very attractive
- he made 2 funny jokes
- I tried to ask him on a date but he lives in Arizona. so. that’s far
(but he gave me his personal email address for future questions. I’m still figuring out how I’m going to utilize this.)
we’re facebook friends, he has my number, we text sometimes, but he still lives in Arizona. so. there you go.