Elyse is keeping Achilles this weekend while I’m at the beach so I made a list of the names she goes by (+ her favorite squeaker, treats, outside toys. I am a mother). I am very impressed with our list. Seven!!!
Adding “Kirtina” to the list
listen to this song but think of it in the context of me singing it to Achilles. I am the MOST single person
also. the first man who sings this song to me wins my hand in marriage
Advantage of living alone:
I can leave the little cute hairs I plucked out of my eyebrows in the sink for days. and days
The man at the full service toll booth told me “you’re very pretty. Are you married? I would like to marry you.” Then he gave me too much change. The extra $.30 feels way more exciting than the proposal
at work the walls of the bathroom stalls go all the way to the ground so my wheels aren’t visible and I can HIDE on the toilet as long as I don’t make any noise. so I do it all the time, of course. I’ve heard a couple of secret conversations (!) and a few big farts (!!). this feels like a really big deal to me. (I need a more exciting job)
Today at work
I’m dealing with an adult woman who writes “~~” in the body of her emails before all the words. And puts ellipses instead of periods. AND DOESN’T CAPITALIZE ANYTHING. I don’t know how to handle this in a professional manner
Some days I wake up and I look so good that I wish I had a boyfriend/husband to see how great I look but other mornings I’m like the least attractive person to wake up. where is the balance
I LOVE workplace drama
mostly because I’m never in the middle of it. because why is anyone going to fight with me, seriously. I love everyone so much.
BUT TODAY I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF IT
AND IT MIGHT LAST A FEW DAYS.
IT IS VERY EXCITING
I LOVE/also strongly dislike MY JOB.
Last night I nicknamed Achilles “Stone Cold Steve Austin” because she wouldn’t lay next to my head while I was sleeping. It’s a mouthful but it’s worth it. This one might stick
I taught Achilles about Jesus Christ to make sure she’ll go to heaven with me when she dies
(I AM VERY BORED AT HOME)