-making unclear money jokes to bankruptcy clients.
they’re not laughing at me its hurting my confidence
There’s a lady that walks around the YMCA with her cell phone crammed into her turban LIKE A HANDS FREE DEVICE. so smart. I tried it with my hair in a towel after my shower to call Douglas and now I understand- worth it
I took this picture for Mom and Dad then realized that Achilles looks like she has a hangover. she’s indifferent
IT TURNS OUT the lotion I’ve been putting on my hands has self-tanner in it (??) so my hands are orange I’m serious. My hands are orange I am almost tan like Douglas. !!
it was Rhonda!! She planted “self-tanning moisturizer” on my bedside table because she “hoped I would use it on my legs because they’re so white.”
WELL, MOM.
good thing I didn’t put it on my face because I would be a pumpkin.
I took a picture but I wonder if it’s too gross
I’ve been leaving anonymous presents on Leelee’s desk while she’s at lunch AND SHE DOESN’T KNOW IT’S ME it’s so much fun. she is confused
FOILED. Leelee suspected and put a black dot on all the wrappers of candy from my candy drawer (the “Douglas Drawer”) and framed me. I feel so betrayed
Recently I’ve been justifying dirty things by telling myself “commensal bacteria” and I can almost do/eat anything I want. I am free
IT TURNS OUT the lotion I’ve been putting on my hands has self-tanner in it (??) so my hands are orange I’m serious. My hands are orange I am almost tan like Douglas. !!
to my able-bodied followers
never take for granted the ability to move to another bathroom stall when there’s pee all over the toilet seat. ALL OVER the toilet seat. please ladies aim better
impulsive.
I just bid on 3 different bids on iPhone chargers, 6 chargers total. I won’t tell you how much money it’ll add up to if I win them all. ahhh down time at work
nine 32oz water bottles today. I lost control
I’ve been leaving anonymous presents on Leelee’s desk while she’s at lunch AND SHE DOESN’T KNOW IT’S ME it’s so much fun. she is confused
I just accidentally gave Leelee the middle name Jones. I don’t know why this keeps happening
Douglas and I have matching YMCA sweatshirts that are both of our favorite sweatshirts so we match all the time now. the worst kind of couple
