I listened to Rihanna on the way to work this morning and I feel like my head is going to explode
my shoe fell in the toilet I don’t know how that happened. I work at a law office what do I do
while the rest of the office celebrates a birthday with cupcakes ad pizza, Kristin sits in the corner and celebrates with a whole grain, organic peanut butter bar. what a sad existence
(jkit’sdeliciousIamsatisfied)
when someone comes in the bathroom at work and in the stall they I guess feel uncomfortable about the noise their pee makes? So I make a beat with my fingers on the toilet seat so everyone relaxes. BUT TODAY I GOT CARRIED AWAY. it felt weird
it seems like Achilles is always in the background humping something. she’s so horny I don’t understand
I just finished eating ground beef stir fry for lunch today and I’m wondering if I have a beef-colored mouth now. I don’t have a mirror
I’m wearing my retainer tonight. I cannot explain to you the pain I feel in my mouth right now
I remember the one time I ever said the f word was in 8th grade and it was an accident when I was trying to song an Eminem song to Claire. It was an accident but for some reason I’ll never forget
it’s slow at work today so I just ordered 48 blue pens from eBay to be delivered to my office next week. I am SoOoOo excited
I told someone today that I can feel cold temperature in my legs. That was the first time I’ve ever told anyone that but I think it’s true? see my monotoned surprise. I can feel cold temperature, everyone
I know it’s not fair to hold something against someone that he/she did in your dream but I don’t care. I never want to see Lee again
