“why didn’t you bring Achilles?” is a funny question to be asked at a bar

I know it’s not fair to hold something against someone that he/she did in your dream but I don’t care. I never want to see Lee again

tomato flavored arts and crafts

Achilles’ first moments with her peanut butter bone. Turn your sound up it’s so great. I watched this video 12 times.

Jones Moments Volume 1

on the wall of the plastic surgeons office there’s a brochure for “BREAST RECONSTRUCTION” so I asked what that meant and she said breast cancer patients, etc. I had a great idea though what of someone wanted to reconstruct their breast into a cube shape? She was nice by pity laughing at me. BUT WHAT IF

This morning I’m excited to go to work and REMEMBER things. 9 years and my short term memory loss is finally gone. It’s gone

focus on her mouth-line

on the way home from the river

Achilles rides in my lap and she made me beep my horn 3 obnoxious times at the car in traffic in front of me. The guy stared at me through his side door window FOR AT LEAST 2 minutes while we sat there. He waved and smiled at me so big and I assume that means he wants to get my number and be my long-term boyfriend so I memorized his license plate number duh (YAP-3246) and tried to drive next to him so he’ll smile at me again. AND HE DID so now we’re dating and I will soon be engaged

Mom and I have the same black underwear and I’m pretty sure I wear hers all the time.
just a heads up for all the boys that we’re thinking about asking me on a date

It never rains on Rodney

Are you feeling patriotic

Bullet Ann

There’s a piece of my seat cushion that sticks out of the cover in the front and Mom keeps saying we need to fix it because “it looks like you have a penis.” I wonder if she knows that’s not what a penis looks like?

I read an article that people should eat 52 pistachios per day so I just counted out exactly 52 pistachio nuts for my lunch tomorrow/every day now. I HAVE A PROBLEM BUT I AM COMFORTABLE WITH IT

I think I just went on a first date. !!!!!!!!!

“tween” stands for “teen between” okay

oh hi

kristinbeale:

I slept through church this morning which was annoying
but
I had a really great and God-driven conversation with my neighbor that I wouldn’t have had if I gone to church.
IT’S COOL how these things work out.

also I was playing with Achilles and pushed her tiny head into the wooden leg of a chair and it made a loud crack. I think I cracked her skull. If I had gone to church that would have never happened either.
It’s cool how these things work out

I slept through church this morning which was annoying
but
I had a really great and God-driven conversation with my neighbor that I wouldn’t have had if I gone to church.
IT’S COOL how these things work out.