those hustlas keep on talkin

Juanuary

see if I had a voice like Beyonce I would sing this song to all the boys. give me de kisses

i’m not a model

this morning I was blowing in Achilles’ face and she gently put her paw on my eye to make me stop

Friendzoned: A Memoir By Kristin Beale

I had to pay a $3 copay to my debit card and explained to my urologist why I have no cash (my car was towed at Julia’s apartment for parking in private handicap parking because there was no other option) and she gave me a $5 bill from under the counter. PEOPLE ARE GR8

I’m hesitant to shave my armpit after 1 week in Florida without a razor (long, beautiful locks of hair). come at me, boys

it is sOoOo great to be home to an accessible bathroom and an electric toothbrush

Jessica and I are calling Achilles “Voldermort” while we fly on the plane today so she won’t hear her name and get excited

Achilles a Jones is a Melancholy Jones

happy New Year everyone

Dad keeps calling me a fart sniffer it’s like he’s 13 years old

LOOK AT HER FACE

Achilles Jones is a New Years Jones

I don’t get how people can skip brushing their teeth at night time I DON’T GET IT

okay I gave in and fingers and I are sending whispering videos to each other. WE’RE PRETTY MUCH FRIENDS NOW. also he lives in Australia what (HAHAHHAHAHA)

So he sent me a video telling me so aggressively to stop screenshotting his pictures. HAHAHA and now wants to hear my accent. I sent one back and just made a face. I refuse