I don’t understand why people don’t want to be my friend

I have been peer pressured into putting periods at the end of my text messages.

my tattoo is starting to fade just like the guy said it would but i didn’t believe.

remember this picture, remember it at its best.

I'm thankful for Angels and Airwaves

when I’m sharing pistachio nuts with Achilles I only give her the ones that are hard to crack because it makes me feel like a better mother to work for her food

 

 

 

i have too much time on my hands. this post took 20 minutes to make

at first my soap smelled like my grandma’s house and I loved it

then it started smelling like my grandma’s poo. but it’s just soap so I didn’t think it was a big deal.

so I kept taking a lot of showers because my body smelled like body odor of dying man. I kept smelling like that for some reason so I just took more showers.

finally I finished the bottle (clap clap) and the smell stopped. COMMON DENOMINATOR. my soap was making me smell like sick-person-poo. i moved on to coconut smelling soap and now I’m fun to be around again

I <3 nosebleeds in the shower

so the blood will land on my stomach and I can watch it be watered down and slide away. it’s fascinating

I asked Achilles why she treats me like her boyfriend and she looked at me so serious.

no love in those eyes

someone just asked me if I’m “interested in a one night stand.”
OH MY GOSH
GET ME OUT OF HERE

kristinbeale:

I made a new friend I made a new friend I made a new friend I made a new friend I made a new friend I made a new friend I made a new friend I made a new friend I made a new friend I made a new friend I made a new friend I made a new friend

false alarm. just another horny guy

“‘Zerts’ are what I call desserts. ‘Trée-trées’ are entrées. I call sandwiches ‘sammies,’ ‘sandoozles,’ or ‘Adam Sandlers.’ Fried chicken is ‘fry-fry chicky-chick.’ Chicken parm is ‘chicky-chicky-parm-parm.’ I call eggs ‘pre-birds,’ or ‘future birds.’ Root beer is ‘super water.’ Tortillas are ‘bean blankets.’ And I call forks ‘food rakes.’”

— Tom Haverford

writing letters that I’ll never send

I just met up with a guy at Tropical Smoothie and I talked for so long about what I bought at the grocery store and then about my frozen grapes. he pretended like he was interested so well. (we didn’t hit it off) (but that’s okay seriously))

my shift is passing by quickly because Plants vs. Zombies 2

I remember when Bill Byrd taught me what a dingleberry is

   

WHY DO GIRLS ALWAYS STICK THEIR NASTY TONGUES OUT IN PICTURES NOBODY WANTS TO SEE THAT

  

I feel like people named Kayla are doomed

a boy just asked me to come over for drinks and I said “no but I will bring over my MIO to put in a glass of water." 

WAY TO KILL THE MOOD, KRISTIN

I made a new friend I made a new friend I made a new friend I made a new friend I made a new friend I made a new friend I made a new friend I made a new friend I made a new friend I made a new friend I made a new friend I made a new friend

people that have their read receipts turned on

make

text messaging

fun again.