the best part of being home alone is being able to take a shower with the curtain and door open so I can look at the foyer while i wash. so if anyone came in the front door WHAM there i am.but no one will come in the front door that’s the coolest part
MY HAIR GETS SO CURLY WHEN IT’S SHORT
i’m taking a selfie because i’m about to go eat sushi with Salman and i haven’t left my house all day and i’m excited to change out of my pajamas. deal wid it
Achilles Jones ate iodine on the carpet
she ioDINED.
it may have taken me 3 hours to think of but I am the wittiest person
When Achilles yawns I like to put as much of my hand as possible in her mouth and hold it there. I like the way her tongue feels on my finger
Mom is throwing BOTH of her arms up, dancing to Dave Matthews Band and driving. so funny and not safe
I took an online test that said I don’t have an eating disorder. that makes me feel better
I just WROTE DOWN and GAVE MY PHONE NUMBER to a guy that wants to meet up and “talk about my marathon training sometime.“ I’m not interested I don’t want to I didn’t know how to say nahHELLno.
my hair doesn’t even look good today why is this happening
I’ve used the phrase “as a marble” so many times today I don’t know why
tired as a marble
happy as a marble
crawling like a marble
busy as a marble
when you’re sitting on a mountain
and your butt becomes a fountain
when you think it’s chicken soup
and it’s really liquid poop
when you’re on the seat for hours
and it doesn’t smell like flowers