Patrick Henry Half Marathon: $40
Crawlin’ Crab Half Marathon: $70
Marine Corps Marathon: $99
Shamrock Marathon: $110
I’M ABOUT TO BE BROKE
there’s a 42 year old black man (married with a 7 year old kid) that works out at the YMCA at nighttime and is also the SEXIEST. guys how should I hit on him how should I go about this
went to see Monsters University today with Parvaiz for the SECOND time. so good
also it was at 2pm and i hadn’t eaten all day, was about to fall asleep. but then he offered me some of his COOKIE DOUGH BITES and i ate 6 of them and all the sudden I had so much energy. hahahahhahahahhahahahahhahaha
on the news tonight
plane crashed
train blew up
terrorist threats
IT’S KIND OF HARD to still be upset over a breakup. dangit
I was crying with Achilles next to me and I looked at her and she was crying so many tears out of her eyes also. look how we’ve grown on each other
I couldn’t get Achilles in the car so I bribed her with the kangaroo scrotum keychain that Bethany brought me from Australia and she came A'RUNNIN. that’s my girl
Jones and I just called ahead to Wawa and got them to pump my gas for me. I feel like a handicapped person BUT I DONT CARE I’M SAD OKAY
I asked Mom what she and Roe are doing at the river and she said
“we’re shelling our hearts out”
talking to Dad on FaceTime consists of:
- close ups of his nose, mustache, ear, eye
- silent moments of him standing in front of the mirror and pointing the camera so I see his whole body
- lots of snorting
- silent moments of him flaring his nostrils to the camera
- 8 seperate occasions of close ups of the sink faucet
- watching him laugh while crouching over the phone and wearing reading glasses so the tears make a puddle on the lens
and that’s about it. literally no content to the conversation
Mom asked what Achilles is doing and I said “looking out the window and licking her vagina" and she started shouting “TMI TMI TMI" over and over again
