talking to Dad on FaceTime consists of:

• close ups of his nose, mustache, ear, eye 
• silent moments of him standing in front of the mirror and pointing the camera so I see his whole body
• lots of snorting
• silent moments of him flaring his nostrils to the camera
• 8 seperate occasions of close ups of the sink faucet
• watching him laugh while crouching over the phone and wearing reading glasses so the tears make a puddle on the lens

and that’s about it. literally no content to the conversation

my relationship with Achilles Jones has really gone to the next level this week

Mom asked what Achilles is doing and I said “looking out the window and licking her vagina" and she started shouting “TMI TMI TMI" over and over again

I am spending this day on the internet

Jake offered to shave my legs for me HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

Jake has sung this song to me three times so far I wish I could get him on video it’s the best

Jake and I just had dinner in a candle light and it was THE MOST romantix

We’re in Costco and Mom says to me

I think I’ll get some fold-over bread to take to the river. Go left, young man

AND SHE WALKED AWAY. didn’t even smile

this made me laugh.
everyone imagine a head in a jar

I’m doing something new with my hair, guys. it’s kind of cool

SEE WHAT I CAN STILL DO
this is the happiest news, the happiest video. i had a hole in my knee (eh) for the past four months so i haven’t been able to crawl/thought I wouldn’t be able to do it anymore.
THAT’S WHY I AM SO HAPPY because i still can. seriously so happy

the best

I bought these for Megan for her birthday but didn’t get home in time to go to her party. so now i have to keep them

(not a bummer) (i love my new glasses) (how old am i)

I am so bad at being a girlfriend. it’s a problem

vitamin D photoshoot

Jake went to the vet to drop off Benson and I’m at his house watching tv (((Benson and I couldn’t both fit in the car because he’s a Great Dane)). I called Mom and told her I’m watching TeenNick and she told me to turn the channel to Good Morning America before anyone catches me. I don’t understand

after Mom killed a fly she raised her hands in the air and yelled “ONE SHOT, ONE KILL”

update

they made me change my shirt. 

BUT I GET TO WEAR A TSHIRT  NOW SO I’M HAPPY

Achilles just blew her nose air on me and it felt good

EXCITING DAY

because the Kanye West album came out today !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but

it isn’t very good. also Kim/Kanye named their baby girl “Khrist.” so wack