I just said “passing the blame sandwich” in an email to my YMCA coworkers 

I framed Rhonda Beale 

my college keeps trying to make all of these interactive facebook groups

like

R-MC Memes: people make R-MC related memes and post them

R-MC Compliments: send a message with a person’s name+a compliment and it will be anonymously posted

and now R-MC Confessions: send your secret in a message and it’ll be anonymously posted

Randolph-Macon. stop

also i tried to get Jake the Dog in the picture but only kind of worked

GUYS LOOK

i made a sweatshirt this weekend

I FOUND MY DREAM HOUSE AND IT HAS 3 BEDROOMS 2 BATHROOMS AND IT’S CHEAP AND >10 MINUTES FROM HOME WHO WANTS TO MOVE IN WITH ME THIS IS SO EXCITING

Achilles makes eye contact and holds it the whole time she’s pooping

Mom is playing Pit Bull quietly in her office

it’s the first day of spring but no one cares because we’re all staying inside like a bunch of tired bears

oh my gosh these shoes

Mom keeps calling Achilles a cat to agitate me

there are so many SO MUCH FUN 5ks in Richmond in May. Someone do them with me seriously

I wish I had Beyonce’s voice so I could make you guys a video of the song I just made up for Achilles. It’s funny

I make so many funny and developed jokes but mom never laughs

Achilles woke me up by stepping on my head this morning

pay attention

“what does Achilles have in her mouth? is that a bone??”

no

she had a hard turd in her mouth. Achilles chewing on a self-turd

me & Forrest

I have an interview at the Henrico Parks and Recreation Department today

so basically

Dad is singing The Lumineers to me at the marathon start line

ABOUT TO START
eeeeeeeeeeeeeee