I get offended when they give me 2 pair of chopsticks with my sushi order. I JUST REALLY LIKE SUSHI OKAY. and I’m hungee

TODAY

i’m starting a family, everyone. i’m a mom now

Dog names. HELP ME

Small Body, call her Body
OR
Achilles, call her Killy

?????
BOTH SO GOOD

BABY’S FIRST BATH

mom bought her a bath robe oh my gosh

I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS PUPPY

SMALL BODY IS HERE

I made Adventure Time origami at work today guys

WEDNESDAY NIGHT

literally cannot sleep, excited

This is the part where I give my phone number to all the girls thas hot

I saw someone from high school and he asked what I’m doing now so I started singing this song AND HE DIDN’T EVEN LAUGH. waste

I flossed my teeth tonight and my gums bled so much. I love it and I took a picture of me looking awesome with bloody gums but I looked bad so deleted them. just trust me guys

I just ate 7 Cashew Clusters in a row - 1.4 serving sizes and 5.25g of sugar

BUT I’M CELEBRATING A DEPOSIT ON A PUPPY named Small Body THAT I’M BUYING IN DECEMBER SO I’M ALLOWED

MY FAVORITE spongebob episode. but ohmygosh this song is in my head for 24 hours after I watch it, always. 

but please do. it’s called Earworm. in italics

JUST KIDDING ABOUT FINISHING CHRISTMAS SHOPPING. i’m having so much fun i hope i can wait to give them i’m just so excited i never want to be done

Christmas shopping

DONE DIDDLY DONE

except parents. what am i going to get my parents

my fingernails are like potato chips

and chase made this because he said i was his puppet master

can we all just look at my face

LOOK-A-LIKES AT THE YMCA

      

also
I’ve been wearing my glasses all day AND I DON’T KNOW HOW PEOPLE DO IT. my ears/nose/face hurts

I HOPE EVERYONE VOTED 

grillz